The other night as I lay in bed, I couldn't fall asleep. I thought of all the plans I had in different stages of my life and almost laughed to myself. I never thought I'd end up here. Not in this bed in this huge victorian-like house in New Hampshire. It's funny how life unfolds so differently than you could ever imagine sometimes.
In elementary school, I wanted to be a veterinarian, like most other little girls. In middle school, I secretly wanted to be a singer, but never thought I could actually make it in the music industry, so I'm pretty sure I said I wanted to be a teacher instead. My love for animals, especially horses, flourished then and I got to start horseback riding lessons. I often wish I still had an outlet for horseback riding, and especially miss my sweetheart of a horse. In high school, I knew I wanted to be a mother one day... but other than that, I didn't have a plan. I'm not sure where I thought I'd live - maybe I'd travel around the United States... but New Hampshire certainly never came to mind.
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. - Proverbs 16:25
That verse speaks such pointed truth to my heart lately. There were some heart things and some literal things I did or thought or said looking back that I wish I hadn't. And those things have been on my mind a lot lately. I don't know that I'll ever share those thoughts specifically on this blog, but this verse speaks directly into them. When I'm not seeking the Lord diligently, there are many things that seem right to me. And most often, those things lead to death - to sin, to hurt, and later to guilt.
I'm so thankful for the ways God has led my life in a much different direction that I would have ever imagined. I'm thankful for the ways he has redeemed me and those things that I wish had never happened.
And in that, I know I have hope.
If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. -2 Corinthians 5:17-19
Today I'm really thankful that the old has passed away and the new has come. Despite what you've done in your past, you are loved. You are loved, you are loved, you are loved.